Mind Fields
by Kount Xero
Summary: After his downfall, he found himself in the mazes of his own mind- a rather strange realm to roam. He knew that, he must seek himself inside this maze, and accept whatever aid pieces of him are willing to give.
1. Prologue: Voices

**_"MIND FIELDS"_**

**Prologue:"Voices"**

The battle sounds, and her screams had started to sound more distant with each passing second.

As he felt the wind whip his clothes and face, all he could see was her face. All he could comprehend was the sorrow carved onto it. All he could fill his mind with.

As he fell, as he realised that they had lost, that he couldn't win a war for her... he felt pain in his heart.

"Don't let them get to you."

His head started to turn for his unseeing eyes to scan the silent darkness around him. Where had this voice come from?

"Who are you?" Squall demanded.

"I am Pain." The reply came as an erratic male voice.

"Who?"

"I am Fear." Came a male shout.

"What does this mean?"

"It means that you are all alone." Came a soft, sad female voice.

"Who are you?"

"I am Sorrow."

"And I, am Passion!" an anxious female voice came.

"I am her sister, Desire." Came a low, seductive voice.

"Who are you!?"

"We are all you! And I am Purity, by the way." it was a preteen girl's voice.

"I am Pride!" came a subtle male voice, sounding muvh like father.

"I am Love!" came a soft, caring female voice.

"I am Lust!" came the voice of a mistress.

"I am Rage!" came a roaring voice.

"I am Hate!" came the opposite voice of Love.

"I am Joy!" came a feeble, little girl voice.

"I am Denial!" came a repulsive male voice.

Squall tried to comprehend the meanings of these voices, tried to understand the words of their sentences...

His conscience exploded so sudden, that he didn't even have time to hear the last voice rising to say, "And I am you."

He passed out. It was too much of a load for him. He couldn't sustain, supress, deny or accept the voices.

* * *

_Author's Notes: Confused? Well, I will let you fill in the gaps between the end of "Syptoms Of Mercy" and Mind Fields' Prologue for now. Because, what have happened will be explained later on in Mind Fields. Thank you for reading it, and will you please review it!?_


	2. Chapter 1: Pain

_**"Mind Fields"**_

**Chapter One:"Pain"**

First, there was the silence he knew only too well.

Then, came an erratic, manly voice to his ears...

Slowly, Squall started to gather around his unconscience to produce something out of it. His head started to ache slightly as he managed to slowly open up his eyes to comprehend a part of the world outside.

The world around him much looked like a cave now; a cave of crimson obsidian, with archaic tribal tattoos carved onto the walls with the colour of white and black, to express their fear of the Gods of the mind.

The top of the cave showed a dreamcatcher that was made of what seemed like...

Squall shivered.

It looked like it was made of broken skin.

Squall checked himself for wounds. He had no wounds. He was surprised to find that, because he did remember how he had fallen down the spiral of reality, as his "friends"...

...He shivered and dismissed the thoughts. Then, he heard footsteps. Immidiately, he jumped up and looked around; managing to spot a stranger.

The stranger was wearing a crimson, hooded mantle on top of his black suit which included a crimson tie on top of the black shirt. His hands were quite perfect- with a curvy, clean shape... The back of his hands were shining while the palms stayed dirty.

"Who are you?" Squall demanded.

"I am Pain;  
I am your reality, and your hallucination  
I am Pain,  
I am your serenity, your strength, your... exclaimation." The stranger replied.

"Who are you?" Squall repeated the question to get a more subtle answer.

"I am Pain  
I am the self-inflicted wound that bleeds back inside...  
You just gain  
Me if you try to push your surface back outside..."

Squall stood in silence; his eyes darting towards Pain, and he demanded even a better, more clear answer from him. The stranger went right on;

"I am Pain  
I am the disarray of your lost dreams...  
It's in vain  
You cannot stray from these screams...  
If I remain  
You will see that I am not nothing...  
And these stains  
Will never be mine; unless you don't do anything..."

Squall sighed and asked his question; "But I wonder who you are?"

"I can't tell any clearer..." Pain replied.

"Why do you carry my scar?"

"You gazed into a mirror..."

When Squall didn't reply, Pain spoke again.

"I AM PAIN  
I am your doubt, your dilemmas, your choice,  
I'M THE CHAIN  
Around your shout, your mind and your voice...  
You can't refrain,  
From what I will push onto your brokenness,  
I am the shame  
You feel from reaction to response openness..."

Squall's confused look earned yet another attempt to gain reaction.

"I AM PAIN  
I AM THE INFECTION ON YOUR HEALING WOUND  
I AM THE SAME  
WITH YOUR TORMENT- WE ARE BOTH CONSUMED...  
I AM TO BLAME  
I AM WHOM YOU ARE BEYOND AFTER THE FALL...  
**I AM PAIN!!!**" the scream echoed; bounced off the walls of the cave, turned around, changed meanings, mutated the emphasis, and then, a whisper escaped Pain.

Squall listened in for the words.

"I am the one you counted on through it all..."

"This makes absolutely no sense..." Squall said.

"Does it? Maybe you don't look deep enough-"

"Why did you save me this last dance?"

"I thought my face wouldn't appear as rough-"

Squall looked around to see a few more figures, approaching the cave. He saw a man wearing mis-matched clothes. He had the hat of royal entertainers, and underneath, he wore a torn, grey trenchcoat. He had torn, pink gloves on his strong, muscular hands, and a red shirt underneath. His blue, baggy pants appeared in a good shape. His eyes were colourless; but they were resembling of broken porcelain. In his hands rested a worn-out leather bag with papers leaking out of the corners of it.

On his side, there was a girl. Squall guessed at her age to be 21, same as he was. She was wearing the clothes that are normally worn at a funeral; however, she had painted on black make-up, the eyeliner of which was melting on her face, drawing lines across her pale cheeks. Her ice-blue eyes captivated Squall from the movement he gazed into them. She had fishnet gloves and stockings on, alongside with stilletto heels. Her lipstick was coloured in dark gray rather than black. She carried an umbrella that was covered in blood; and blood was leaking off it's edges.

Squall turned around to face the girl and the man. He first turned to the girl, facing away from Pain.

"Who are you?" he demanded.

She opened up her mouth, and replied in a shaking voice.

"I am Sorrow,  
I am the lake of tears you let take form...  
I am hollow,  
I am the face of your rainstorm...  
No tomorrow-  
You can't deny my suicidal touch of care...  
I am Sorrow,  
I am your only friend and only enemy...  
I always wait there..."

Squall turned his gaze away from her this time, and faced the man.

"I shouldn't, but, who are you, sir?" he asked.

The man smiled a bit through his mustache.

"I am Fear,  
I am the cold blood running through your mind...  
When I'm near  
You will feel my fingers- trace up your spine...  
I am Fear  
I'm the loss of control, the joystick of madness,  
I am clear  
Enough to explain myself, and _her-_" fear tilted his head to Sorrow"-Sadness..."

Squall felt confusion spin inside of his head. He looked around the tribal symbols around the walls of the cave. He faced away from all of them, and looked up to the dreamcatcher made of broken skin.

"Is there a meaning to all of this?" Squall asked to Hyne above.

"Yes, aren't you supposed to be dead?" Pain reminded him.

"Why can't I ever find my bliss..." Squall spit out in disdain, hanging his head, and staring at Sorrow from behind his hair.

"Maybe because you look for it in your head." Sorrow said.

"Or maybe because you are keen on hanging by a thread." Fear added.

Squall faced away from all of them. His gaze deviated from their faces, and contacted the ground. As he lifted it to stare at the walls again, he saw a young woman, standing right in front of him.

She was wearing a red nightdress- one that perfectly matched her flaming red hair; her golden eyes were looking at Squall in a rather seductive fashion. Her scarlet lips parted, as her bare feet started to move her towards him.

"I am Passion...  
I am the new face of your growing obsession...  
My superstition  
Is the fruit of this crossbreed analysis session..."

Squall was surprised quite a bit when her soft hand brushed against his forehead, her fingers swirling inside his hair.

"Why are you here, why do I feel your touch?" Squall demanded.

"Don't you long for something, dove?"

"I can't handle you; you were always too much!"

"I see you're accepting it, my love..." Passion smiled, "Now isn't that a start?"

"The beginning step of what?" Squall demanded, "I don't even know where I am; what is all this?"

"A start to another era in your heart,  
But now, let me show you the way while I can,  
Welcome to Deusapolis."

Passion gave him a look over her shoulder, and then, started to walk towards a tunnel in the cave. As Squall instinctively hurried after her, he wondered why he wasn't dead yet...

...Or why the first one to greet him was Pain.


	3. Chapter 2: The Scarlet Trio

**_"Mind Fields"_**

**Chapter Two:"The Scarlet Trio"**

Squall managed to put up a subtle distance between himself and Passion. Passion was walking, her steps like feathers onto the rough stone surface. Squall heard his own steps, and Passion whistling a tune to herself.

He found himself wondering about the song she was whistling. But he decided not to say anything. He just followed her through the corridors.

"Why do these corridors twist and turn like a serpent?" Squall asked.

"They twist but they don't turn- for fixation infests thoughts..." Passion replied.

"What makes you so obedient?" Squall demanded this time, "Pain, Fear and Sorrow were only resistant."

"That is because I am closer to your core,  
It is because I was there once before  
And I know your personified score..."

"Care to tell me the results?" Squall demanded.

"Do you really think you can comprehend  
Or even stand,  
All of your faults?"

Squall fell to silence afer her sentence. He continued to follow her lead as the thought started to work it's way into his head.

_I cannot handle my flaws... I am a perfectionist._

Passion stopped. Squall advanced two steps towards her, each step echocing three times before he stopped, and saw her smile.

"Seeing perfection kill you- you must now become an expressionist." She said.

Squall stared at her with a vacant stare in his eyes.

"There is much I can't understand." Squall said.

"Follow me; for I will create revelations."

"When did my life get out of hand?"

"Don't you know why you are now in jeapordation?"

"Am I?"

"You will see  
If you follow me  
And see whether it's truth or lie."

After that, Passion continued to walk. She lead the way for Squall again. Squall wondered why he was unconditionally following a total stranger.

"Do you not trust me?" Passion asked, as she continued to walk, with her dress flying gently around her elegant ankles.

"How can I trust someone I have just met?"

"Don't you already know me?" Passion asked, with something more than seduction hidden in her voice.

"Why do you sound like an old regret?"

"I am not a regret..." Passion sounded both disappointed and disapproving, "I am what you will understand slowly."

Squall couldn't argue with her as she stopped by the edge of the cave... And the wind outside blew onto her dress, lifting her skirt up. Squall didn't have to be a man to concentrate on her perfect figure.

"Come on, my orchid." Passion said, "I will take you to Deusapolis... Or, truthfully speaking, the finest bar in Deusapolis."

Squall observed the city that laid before his eyes. Made out of organic buildings, it looked like the bar-town Dollet in itself; all the bars were in different shapes, and different designs of architecture.

"Is that Deusapolis?" Squall demanded.

"What better city can you design for a God?" Passion demanded in return.

Shivering, Squall asked another question; "Can you tell me what this cold is?"

"The wind inside isn't blocked by architectures of blood."

Passion waited for a little while looking around. Then, she turned to Squall, brushed her hair over her shoulder. Squall's eyes couldn't help but deviate there. No matter how much he had fallen for Rinoa, he couldn't help but feel want for her.

"Don't do that, scarlet bolt." Passion said.

"I don't wish to, but my senses revolt." Squall replied.

"Your feelings never lie... But they have been since that day."

"What day?"

"That fateful day,  
When you met her, your heart swayed,  
Before being blown away..."

"By what, by the impossibility of her stay?"

"No." Passion replied, "By the possibility of her stay."

Suddenly, Squall felt something materialise around him. Slowly, but subtly, he realised that it was walls, tables, chairs, empty glasses, and even a thin smoke coloured in violet...

When the emergence was complete, Squall saw the settings of a bar. He found that he was sitting on a bar chair, leaning on the bar stand. Passion wasn't next to him anymore, she was gone.

The bartender approached him. The bartender was a articule woman who was wearing a regular suit... A suit that fit on her perfectly, and Squall felt like this bar itself was made for unwilling intoxication.

"Can I fix you something?" the bartender asked, licking her lips and smearing a bit of her black lipstick around her cheeks.

"Whiskey."

"Such a hard drink, before the show."

"The show?" Squall demanded.

"The show of The Scarlet Trio."

"The Scarlet Trio?" Squall demanded.

"Yes." The bartender replied, "I'd better give you some liqeur; for it suits the show finer than whiskey."

"Whatever." Squall replied.

Squall looked around to see what the bar was like. He knew that it would be crucial. The bar didn't have a sign of it's name inside. The customers were all moving like they were in a funeral, soft, slow, and sorrowful. They were all wearing black clothes, with worn designs, torn fabric... They were all minding their own businesses. Too busy with their drinks that rested in disjointed glasses.

"Oh, good!" the bartender said, "The Scarlet Trip will make their appereance."

Squall turned around on the bar chair and stared at the stage which had been lighted up with pink lights, painting it in a disgusting colour of rotting flesh.

Squall witnessed Fear walk up to the stage and tap on the microphone to see if it was working.

"_And now, ladies and gentlemen,  
__Your greatest sentiment...  
__The one and only show:  
__The Scarlet Trio!"_

The curtains behind Fear suddenly burst into flames, as he crossed them and went to backstage. Squall watched the crowd turn their attention to the stage, their faces brightening up, and their excitement rising fastly.

First, Passion walked on stage with the same outfit Squall had seen before; with an additional scarlet gloves. She grabbed hold of one microphone and kissed it, getting a couple of faint cheers from the crowd. Then, another woman went up on stage... With her golden eyes glistening through the scarlet smoke of the bar, and her gray hair was falling onto her shoulders like a waterfall. She was wearing a black nightdress which was similar to Rinoa's white one... She smiled, and Squall knew her name immidiately; she was Desire.

Finally, another young girl walked up on the stage. She had crimson red eyes beneath her short, blonde hair, and she was wearing a modified man's suit just like the bartender, complete with a hat and a tie... Except, she wasn't wearing a shirt. Squall felt her name in his veins; Lust.

First, Passion sang, as she pointed to Squall;

"Hey mis-ter 'I,  
Kissed her', you made her a blis-ter...  
Missed her, as you, twist her  
In a man-ner of Lucifer..."

Then, Lust went on;  
"And now you want me, Lust to, hold ya  
Before my slow dance folds ya...  
Will I call you when I'm in the neighborhood?  
Will I pleasure you like I said I would?"

They all sang together as Squall drank down his liqeur:

"**Why do you think she never loved ya?  
****She always wanted to stay above  
****Whether at night or day or noon,  
****Why did she get so angry so soon?"**

Desire took over the song to answer the question,

"Because outside these sexy scars  
And inside the questions of who you are,  
Aside from the want and the need  
I will cause you-  
To hurt!..  
...And bleed."

Squall didn't feel the bartender pass him another glass, but he drank it down anyway, as The Scarlet Trio started to hum to the melody of the song, while dancing slowly and seductively.

When they saluted the audience, the curtains behind them had started to form themselves again. Squall watched them disappear beneath the curtain...

...Where Desire stopped for a second, and turned to Squall. Only to shoot him an offended look.


	4. Chapter 3: Shape Shifters

_"**Mind Fields"**_

**Chapter Three:"Shape Shifters"**

After The Scarlet Trio's song was over, the bar had started to grow vacant, with more and more people leaving every passing minute. Squall found himself not drinking anything, although he was dying of thirst.

"Mind if I sit?" came a feeble, little girl voice that sounded too familiar to Squall.

"I do not own the space around me." He said.

"You do, but what do you do with it?"

"Who are you," Squall demanded, ",speaking like you found me?"

"I did; and you're the one I wish to connect with."

Squall turned around to face the stranger.

His eyes opened wide when he saw the face of her. It was a teenager girl, wearing a light yellow blouse on top of bright blue jeans, and sneakers to match the colours of both. Her fingernails were polished with pink nail polish.

Around her eyes, was a pale blue make-up, and other than that, her face was clean...

...The face that belonged to Selphie Tilmitt, was clean.

"Who are you?" Squall demanded.

"I am Joy  
I am the feeling inside  
When you play with your new toys...  
I'm a void  
Created when Sorrow hides  
When her aftertaste is destroyed..."

"What is this place, does this bar have a name?" Squall demanded.

"It's called 'The Obscure Vision'."

"Can you tell me **my** real name?" he demanded.

"Just listen- for we have a short session!"

Squall was taken aback by her response. He was certain that, his real name was long forgotten... He started to search his mind for more information, but Joy's words stopped him;

"Listen to me, Lion

Do you wish to figure out what Deusapois is?  
Then set your eyes to Zion  
Pray to a long forgotten god to see your foolishness..."

He looked into her eyes with confusion. What did religion have to do with it? His only God was... Ayreona.

"My only God, is my second and only love;

Don't tell me she's not whom I believe her to be!" Squall said

"If she's your darling, why did she stay above,  
While you sunk low, trying to decide who to be!?"

"I am not trying to decide-"

"Then you're trying to hide it!"

"I'm not trying to hide-"

"Then you're trying to lay beside it!"

"I'm not trying to lay beside-"

"Then you're trying to stay outside it!"

"I'm not trying to stay outside-"

"Then you're trying to decay inside it!"

Squall was pinned onto the chair with her last comment.

"I am not doing such a thing, you're wrong!" he said.

Joy replied, "Then why am I feeling an uneasy breath in your lungs?"

"I am not uneasy- Just stop trying to make me!"

"You don't know me- Stop trying to break me..."

Squall smiled to Joy, licked his lips with a taste of the violence fetish.

"I just broke your smile, smashed your essence!"

"Do you take pleasure in my pain?" Joy asked, hanging her head.

"You're a total stranger- I only know your absence!"

"So I guess, you never felt me in your veins!"

They sat next to each other on the bar stand, neither saying a word, for a short while. Squall looked at her face, which was...

...Broken.

Her nose was bleeding, her eyes were gone, her lips were cut, shards of mirrors stuck out of her cheeks. She parted her bloodstained, disfigured lips to speak to Squall with the most disgusting voice that carried the tone of a broken, barren hope;

"So you wish to see this face-  
This expression  
One that you wish to embrace?  
This circumsision  
Will result only in a DISSECTION  
ONLY TOO HARD TO **REPLACE!!!**"

Her scream felt a tender, but harsh touch sliding down on his forhead, ripping the decayed stitches of his scar apart.

When blood slid down onto his eyes, Squall could feel a gentle, but harsh breath on his face. He then felt a bony hand press against his throat, the spider-like fingers entwining around his neck.

Squall faced a stranger in front of him, standing in Joy's place. A man. This man had strands of colourful hair moving down in rasta style; the colours of the strands being red, steel gray, black, electric blue, electric orange, electric yellow. His eyes were coloured in a hateful crimson. His face was pale, paler than the usual pale colour Squall had seen in anyone. He was wearing a torn suit, his tie was hanging loose with the shape of a slipknot on his neck. He had a goatee, which started out as white, then slowly turned to a crimson red, and blood was dripping off it. He bare his teeth; or rather, his bloodstained, razor-shaped fangs.

His fingernails scratched the skin on Squall's neck, making him gasp in pain.

_Who is he!?_

The question was answered by a low-bass growl;

"**_I AM RAGE  
_**_**I AM THE FLAMES BURNING HIGH  
**__**DEEP INSIDE  
**__**I'M THE CAGE  
**__**YOU ARE INSIDE BEFORE YOU DIE  
**__**SLEEP OUTSIDE  
**__**OF THIS STAGE  
**__**YOU CAN'T PLAY THE GAME-SO DON'T EVEN TRY!!!  
**_**_JUST LET ME HELP YOU DIE!!!_**"

"Let me go; you psychotic bastard!"

"**_WHAT DID YOU CALL ME- DO I LOOK LIKE I NEED A LABEL!?"_**

"You're choking me..." Squall said, "You gotta act nicer!"

"**_YOU CAN'T COMMAND ME- YOU ARE JUST NOT THAT ABLE!!!"_**

"Can you just... Leave... My... vicinity?"

Squall felt Rage's fingers get off his throat, and he fell down onto the surface, as the fresh air rushed to his lungs. He choked and started to cough, as Rage took a bar chair and smashed it onto Squall's back. Squall shouted in pain, and instinctively, curled up.

"**_DO YOU REALLY SUBMIT TO ALL THE THINGS I SAID, BOY!?  
_**_**IF I WISHED YOU JOY-  
**__**IT WOULD BE HERE IN A SNAP, BOY!!  
**__**BUT THIS LITTLE TOY-  
**__**GIVES ME THE STRENGTH TO BITCHSLAP YOU WITH THE TRUTH, BOY!!!  
**__**WHEN YOUR ENEMY, TURNED TO YOURSELF  
**__**WHEN YOU HAVE BECOME THE ENEMY, BOY, WERE YOU IN AGONY!  
**__**BUT PAIN CANNOT SAVE YOU NOW-  
**__**I WILL DRAG YOU SIX FEET UNDERGROUND, BOY!!!"**_

Squall felt his body crushed underneath his blows, his bones were breaking, his skin was breaking- falling apart like porcelain... His blood was flowing down gray- his thoughts were reminding him of the colour red.

"Stop!" Squall begged to Rage.

A voice interrupted the merciless blows, and came through Squall's mind, loud and clear.

"Don't pain him as so- he cannot resist because he doesn't know  
The meaning of the word,  
Since he let it grow...  
You have to let it go..." it was Sorrow, speaking half to Squall, half to Rage.

Rage let out a growl that deafened everything else around him, broke the glasses and spilled out glass shards everywhere, while the contents of the bottles and glasses stood as they were; liquid but still standing.

Squall felt Pain all over him. Then, he heard a faint whsiper coming from him that came through all the darkness around him; and even drowned the cries of Rage.

"I am Pain,  
Do you not remember me,  
I'm a product of you; for you love her.  
In disdain,  
Please, just remember me,  
I won't ask for more; you're a good lover!  
However-  
Don't wait for me to drown Rage  
Rage drowns me,  
And he can strangle Sorrow- leaving you no tomorro-" Pain cried out in pain, and Squall felt him fall by his side.

"**_HOW DARE YOU!? I AM ABOVE YOU-  
_**_**YOU ARE JUST A CHILD, LITTLE CHILD! OBEY,  
**__**YOU CANNOT SEE THROUGH!!! YOU CANNOT STRAY!!!"**_

"Enough..." came a soft voice. Squall managed to turn around, and tried to stabilize the world that had turned upside down, with his eyes half-blind.

He couldn't see until he saw a pair of bare, beautiful feet standing right next to his eyes. When he traced the feet upwards, he saw an elegant yet pale skin cover up two legs, that which went up to reveal a girl with raven hair and brown eyes, wearing a long, blue trenchcoat, and black denim jeans to the bottom.

"But who are you? Why did you save me?" Squall demanded, not recognizing the face.

"I am Love,  
I now stand above  
And I am here to thank you for all the warmth you gave me."

The air around Squall was silent. The Scarlet bar was silent; as if it had never been as loud as it was seconds ago.


	5. Chapter 4: The Illumination Hotel

**_"Mind Fields"_ **

**Chapter Four:"The Illumination Hotel" **

When Squall managed to start to feel, what he felt was a rush of blood to his heart; which made it ache. He felt the pain in his heart, but didn't know how to explain it, or put it into context.

"I know what you are thinking, dear,  
'Should I open up my eyes;  
When everything that I have feared  
Stands right by my side'?" came Love's voice.

Fear sighed, and took over her words.

"I am by your side, for one purpose;  
To teach you of the pains and curses,  
But I did not make such a good pain teacher,  
However, now I leave my place to the preacher..."

Squall felt a bed underneath him, and felt the silk covers under and over him. He felt three pairs of hands touching him, observing his skin for wounds. He knew he didn't have a skin. His skin was lifted up a long time ago.

He started to open up his eyes, but then, two hands clutched over them, and blocked his vision again. Squall couldn't make a sound. He could only patiently wait for that familiar, yet alienated voice to fade in.

But, Love stood silent. Squall heard a voice he didn't hear ever before.

"Welcome back to us- and to The Illumination Hotel,  
I don't want you to fall down our crippled well,  
You cannot open up your eyes, you are not ready yet,  
If you see your surroundings you are sure to regret!"

"How can I deny what I wish to see?"

"You can manage by just counting on me!"

"You're a new voice, a new choice for me!"

"I am Denial, the one you'll always see!"

Silence didn't crawl back to the room, the noise did. The silence was the noise all around them. It twisted and turned, but never let Squall sleep again; never let him seep back to sleep deep enough to get rid of the silk linen that was burning his skin. He felt the bed burst into flames around him; yet, his skin wasn't on fire. His veins were. The pain came from the inside.

"Is Pain here?" Squall demanded, feeling such intensity flow through his veins.

"He cannot enter this place; he is banned from it!"

"Is he near?"

"You are here-  
Since you remain in this hotel, he is near,  
He will walk around it, waiting for Fear!"

"What does fear have to do with all this?" Squall demanded, as he felt strong arms lift him up from the bed, and felt his feet touch the ground.

"No more questions, my orchid," Love said, "Just wait for my kiss."

Squall was even more confused; but he couldn't help but shiver when he felt clothes appear around him like a second skin. He felt his clothes move to fit his shape, enlarge or shrink for a better size.

As Squall felt himself be compltely dressed, he heard Fear speak.

"I am right by you; helping you walk  
We must make haste, or your outline will be of chalk,  
We must leave; We must believe, or else you'll end up  
With a label on your toe, on a metal stretcher,  
Taken to a room full of dead souls and leather..."

Squall tried to understand what Fear was saying, tried to feel the chilly touch of his words, when a girl's singing voice interrupted his train of thought.

"Who is that, where does that come from?" Squall demanded.

"It is your most fearsome enemy..." Love replied.

"No need to put my name on that storm..." Fear objected,

"Why does this voice sound so lovely?" Squall demanded.

Squall felt another familiar presence by his side, as he felt himself get dragged off his current position. He felt the carpet move underneath his feet, and managed to ask a question.

"I don't want to be away from this voice-

Where are you dragging me off to?" he felt his blood boil as the blindfold started to turn to a crimson colour. He wanted to shout so much more to those around him... Just then, Rage spoke on his behalf.

"**_SINCE WHEN DO PARTS OF ME DON'T LEAVE ME A CHOICE  
_**_**DO YOU WANT ME TO SLICE THROUGH-  
**_**_LET ME GO!!!_**"

Squall felt the blindfold start to burn. It really was burning, but the flames were coloured in black and pink, instead of red and orange. He felt the flames pass through his eyes and travel across the nerves, all the way to his brain. He felt the flames, scorching his skull, burning what's inside. He screamed in pain.

"Here I am,  
His shout has given me what I lacked before,  
The ability to breach the core!" Pain said, appearing right by Squall's side.

"**_YOU ARE A FOOL TO ENTER THIS PLACE!!!  
_****_NOW _SHE _WILL WISH TO SEE FACE-TO-FACE!!!_**" Rage screamed.

"My great Angel, did you forget that?" Love demanded of Pain.

"I never forget; but why am I at that  
Point where I am standing; where I have landed?"

Squall shouted, "SHUT UP FOR A SECOND!!!" to all. And then, silence fell, however, the girl's singing voice distrupted the perfect, velvet black silence around Squall as he reached out and pulled off his blindfold.

And suddenly, he screamed.

There was nothing around him. He was on his knees; he was on the flat surface of nothingness. His mind wandered around to see the faded silhouettes of those that had spoken to him. There was nothing but emptyness around him; planes of non-existence.

Squall screamed. He cried out with all he had. He couldn't balance this abstract view, his logic, his senses were crawling; and his most instinctive, natural attempt to respond was to pass out...

...But he held onto the sawdust left of the work of carpentry he had called his conscience, and managed to look around, as they all sang together.

"Is that all you have..?  
She will find you, if you keep lying here,  
If you keep crying fears,  
She will come out and send you to the plane of unclear..."

Squall barely registered the words, his mind was occupied by the morbid, gothic children's rhyme that sounded in the background. Squall heard footsteps that echoed like a thousand bells ringing in the very same moment. He managed to open up his shut eyes, and as he bled concrete tears, he looked backwards to see a diagonal form of existence approaching.

All he saw was a shadow walking towards him from a distance...

...But, the "hotel" was around this feminine shape. As she took steps forward, the paintings on the walls, the tiles on the floor, the carpets, the ceiling... It all were around her near vicinity, and it was as if she alone was acting like a torch lighting up a dark corridor. Only parts of it and mommentarily, but Squall sensed that this shadow was what made The Illumination Hotel find presence.

Squall felt those around him scream; but Fear and Rage drowned the voices of others. Fear and Rage responded to her presence with their high-pitched, bass growls;

"**_WHY ARE YOU HERE YOU WRETCHED SPAWN!?  
_**_**TO SHOW HIM WHY HIS MIND WAS DRAWN  
**__**ONTO A CRIMSON LINE THAT REPRESENTS  
**__**THE DEATH OF EVERYTHING HEAVEN-SENT!?"**_

The shadow was still approaching. Squall felt as if he was drowning. Fear was embracing him, he could feel his clothes extend and wrap themselves around him. Squall was choking, he couldn't breathe through the clothes of fear. He tried to grab onto something; but nothing seemed to suffice in this frantic moment.

Footsteps approached Squall as Fear's fabric held him tighter and tighter. Until it exploded, sending off shards of the clothing as mirror pieces... They all flew into different directions within the nothingness.

Squall felt Fear release him... He was falling, until Rage and Pain caught him together.

Squall watched the shadow approach, and tried to see through all the shifting colours of The Illumination Hotel, which only materialised around her. The shadow carried the most beautiful eyes that he had ever seen. She was walking ever-so-seductively, and seemed so tempting.

"Who are you to deny my existence, knight?

I am here to bless you with my presence tonight..." the shadow sang to Squall.

"I remember you..." Squall said, "From my past."

"Do you also remember my name that which will last?  
No? You were not built to last,  
I am Ayreona, the one and only!"

Squall whispered to her, "Maybe so, but I will now slowly-"

He was interrupted by a subtle voice,

"Show thee!!!"

When Squall looked up, he saw a woman standing between him and Ayreona's shadow. She was wearing long, revealing but concealing clothes which he couldn't tell where they started or where they ended. She stood her ground between them, and her white-black-grey hair flew around her, she watched Ayreona.

Squall just looked at Fear questioningly. Fear frowned, and then, his face shifted to a rather sad expression. He looked away from Squall, and said;

"She is Reason."

Ayreona smiled. Squall had seen that smile on her face before. He knew that smile almost too well...

...A smile that was a message on her next move; a swift curve in the air that which had slit Reason's throat, leaving her choking on the floor of nothingness.


	6. Chapter 5: Fall of Reason

**_"Mind Fields"_**

**Chapter Five:"Fall of Reason"**

Squall watched Reason choke on nothingness, as the words slipped out of her wound. As she rested on the plane of nothingness, Ayreona got to her side, and made floor materialise under her, to give her a space to choke on. Squall noticed that, Reason had been weak from the start. As she struggled to keep the words from spilling out of her wound and taking her life away, her scared gaze turned to Squall.

Her beautiful, white-and-black eyes; two colourful orbs were gazing into the soul of Squall Leonhart, making him feel as if something in him was dying with her... More than one thing was screaming for him to go to her help.

But then, Squall sensed a second set of eyes onto him. It was Ayreona; she was watching his every move. He couldn't move, although he felt Reason scream inside his head;

"**WHY WON'T YOU DO ANYTHING,  
****DO YOU TAKE JOY IN MY SUFFERING?  
****WHY WON'T YOU DO SOMETHING  
****DID YOU NOT LIKE WHAT I'M OFFERRING?**"

Squall tried to crawl away, he was trying to back away from the scene of her death. She was struggling, desperate to stay alive, but all Squall could hear was the words spilling out of her wound, and calling out to her.

"**THE MIRROR  
****THE WALL  
****PUNCH IT!!!  
****TAKE THE PAIN  
****TIME  
****CLOCKS  
****PERFECTION  
****SEE THE GHOST  
****SPEAK TO IT  
****PUSH IT  
****YOU PUSH IT  
****TOUCH IT  
****SCRUB IT  
****RAPE IT  
****TAKE IT  
****THE MIRROR  
****THE WALL  
****PUNCH IT!!!  
****TAKE THE PAIN  
**_**YOU HAVE TO!!!"**_

"STOP IT, STOP THIS INFERNAL RACKET!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT!!!"

"You are a fool," Fear said, "For trying to shake it!"

"And so are you," Pain insisted, "For trying to forsake it!"

"SILENCE!!!" Ayreona shouted, and as Reason laid lifeless at her feet, she turned her palms towards them, with her fingers curling up... But not to a fist.

Squall felt the silence crawl into the chaotic cacophony of emptyness, and saw Ayreona take a step forwards, and to him. She passed over the dead body of Reason, and then, approached Squall. Squall watched the floor disappear, and then, watched Reason start to fade into infinity; she was falling towards a direction Squall couldn't analyse. Squall was still trying to balance the directionless state...

...All his efforts were in vain when Ayreona stood over him. He felt a carpet appear underneath him, and managed to observe the shadow in front of him. He could make out the shape of stilletto heels, which rose and then, pressed against his chest as he laid on his back.

"Look up to my face, not to my feet  
Watch me smile over your gentle defeat  
And see the sentiment arise till it reaches alpha  
Only then, you will find your way to omega!"

Squall couldn't reply, he was still trying to balance his world. There was no room for understanding.

Ayreona turned to the others, and questioned tham;

"What have you brought to me; a weakling?  
He's crawling; I haven't heard him speaking!"

Squall heard no reply. All he could register was Ayreona's words about him being a weakling.

"I am not weak! I am stronger!"

"Oh shut up!" Ayreona snapped, "Your soul couldn'tve gotten longer!  
It's thin; thinner then I have stretched it,  
Why are you in this place; to kiss the wretched?"

Squall was still deaf, he couldn't hear her. Then, he felt something move in between him and Ayreona again, and felt numerous hands grab him, and drag him off.

"Why am I drifting once again?" Squall demanded

"The answers lie deep within." Fear replied.

"Who is standing between me and her?"Squall demanded again.

"Pain is preventing the new murder." Love replied, taking him away from Ayreona.

"Can she not harm Pain, like she did to Reason?"

"No," Sorrow replied, "She cannot release him,  
For she needs him; she cannot act with treason."

Squall felt himself be raised to his feet. He felt the infinity underneath them move, as he was assisted to run towards somewhere he couldn't see or know... He was just running blind. He felt Fear, Sorrow, Love and Pain by his side.

"Help me get away from this wicked witch!" Squall begged them.

"Why? After all, you've fed her rich..." Pain replied.

"And you got her wounds cross-stitched..." Sorrow added.

"You are now a round sphere inside which-" Love started when Fear interrupted her;

"You wished to kill this smiling bitch!"

Squall could feel her breathing down their necks... She was slow, she was sure, she was sincere in her advance towards them. Ayreona was coming out in the open, and The Illumination Hotel came with her.

"Why won't you let me be illuminated!?" Squall demanded.

"Because you aren't ready to be decapitated  
Or intensly, violently sedated  
To witness the sight to which you were fated!" Fear explained.

Squall accepted this for a fact for now, and let them be his guide. He couldn't see the floor underneath his feet, and he was counting on the guidance of his feelings.

"**_DON'T COUNT ON US!!!  
_**_**IF YOU DO-  
**_**_YOU MISPLACE YOUR TRUST!!!_**" Rage shouted, and pushed Squall from the back. Squall felt himself be released from the hands of the others, and felt himself fall. While expecting to hit the floor, he felt the horrible sense of not hitting anything and just taking the fall.

As he felt the bottom drop from beneath him, he heard the vortex spin around him. He started to spin. He couldn't dare open up his eyes, because he knew that the colourful void around him would make him sick.

As he fell, he felt the presence of Pain and Sorrow nearby him. They embraced him, and stopped him from spinning on and on. Squall knew they couldn't stop his fall, though.

"Have you no control over this incident?" Pain demanded

"Not even a small, hopeless percent?" Sorrow demanded.

"My influence doesn't exist here!" Squall replied.

"Why do you condemn yourself with rules?" Pain demanded,

"Why do you talk smart and act like a fool?" Sorrow demanded

"It's all I can trust in fear!" Squall replied.

He felt his fall come to a halt, and then, he felt that he was slipping away once again. Accepting his situation, he muttered his goodbye to the void, and got ready to face the fall one more time. Acceptance had pushed him over the edge.

Suddenly, Squall felt a deep fire burn inside of him; this fire longed to stay alive while he was letting go.

"Don't let me go  
You love me so  
I can sense it in the scream on your throat  
Don't get me wrong  
I just, long  
For your mind to call me, so that we can gloat!"

"This voice belongs to my Desire..." Squall said to himself.

"And so that's whom I am; I am the inner fire,  
I can take you higher,  
Rise you...  
Only if you let me get through!"

"Save me, I know nothing else will!" Squallbegged of her.

"Don't speak like you think of this as a thrill!" Desire snapped.

Squall just wished for a pair of warm arms to surround him, and take the cold off his skin; he had only found enough time to think about the irony of it all.

And just then, he felt a pair of electric arms surround him. He came to feel that her arms were charged with red electricity that surrounded him and made him scream his lungs off in pain. The echoes of the scream returned to him as bits and pieces of words.

Squall felt the fall cease, and his body fell into Desire's arms with all it's weight. Squall felt the currents sweep through him, and felt himself start to lose conscience.

_Thank Hyne..._

Squall passed out, and his body grew limp in Desire's arms. Desire stood inside the maelstrom and observed his peaceful, sleeping face.

"How sweet he sleeps...  
It's like he never weeps." Desire observed.

"He does weep..." Sorrow refused, as Deusapolis materialised around them,  
"He just does not know when I am steep,  
And when this pain will have him reaped."

They all gathered on top of Squall, and observed him as he slept. They exchanged stares, and then, they all sang together for him.

"And there he lies; a father to us all  
Lying as if he died; after his fall  
Is he desentesized? Why does he crawl?  
He gave us life...  
And in return we will help him keep himself whole..."

* * *

_Author's Notes: So far, Squall encountered the worst thing that exists inside Deusapolis. And as for those whom have rescued him... They cannot help him stay as a whole. Eventually what's whole will fall apart.Reviews are pretty much welcomed as much as the flames. "Mind Fields" will continue, ladies and gentlemen. On a minor note, I just found out today, that one of the finest examples of the meloldic death metal genre, SOILWORK (yes I do think it's over At The Gates, In Flames and/or Dark Tranquility!)has a song named "Mindfields" in their "Natural Born Chaos" album..._


	7. Chapter 6: Felicific Calculus Chess

**_"Mind Fields"_**

**Chapter Six:"Felicific Calculus Chess"**

The voices had ceased. But what came to Squall's ears was wooden pieces slamming across a marble surface... And a constant humming response indicating that someone nearby was lost in a process of consideration.

His head started to ache as the memories of the infinite space of The Illumination Hotel started to surface inside of his mind. Squall tried to sustain the panic, as he felt it crawl up his spine. He tried to choke it. He failed to do so; and he tried to sustain it's voice at least. Failing again, Squall took his panic into his arms, and started to cradle it...

_I will not break with this; I will resist the panic!_

_If it's sound doesn't fade; I'll drown it in static!_

Squall slowly started to open up his eyes, and feel the pain on his temples. He faced the pain, but he couldn't surpress it. Failing to do so, he decided to move a little bit upwards, and take a look around. His eyes traced his surroundings which were furniture which consisted of three colours; black, white, lilac. Regular furnitures rested inside the house he seemed to be in, and then, his eyes traced the black-and-white tiles on the floor up to a table that was standing nearby him.

The table was squaretal. It wasn't too high- it was actually too low. Squall traced the table all the way, and his eyes met a girl sitting on a chair next to the table.

The girl was wearing a white, silken dress... The dress didn't have any strands, runes, or shapes on it, it was pure white. Her red hair was falling onto her curved shoulders which revealed her whitish skin. Squall saw her gray eyes trace the chessboard in front of her. He pushed himself up from the ground, and he definately did not like it. He looked at her, and decided that, he was neutral about her appereance.

Her face was not too beautiful; but it wasn't ugly. He walked up to her, and stood by her side, as if to present himself. She didn't respond at all, her black fingernails were still tapping on the side of the table, rather thoughtfully, as she hummed to a melody.

"A lady, playing chess, all by herself?" Squall demanded, "What is your name?"

The girl smiled faintly, and pointed him to sit down with a gentle move. Squall followed her move and sat down.

"I am Purity," the woman said, "The delicacy,  
I am your sickness in remedy  
And your 'remedy in sickness' parody  
Won't you sit down?  
And wipe off that frown,  
Play with me,  
This game of Felicific Calculus Chess!"

Squall stared at the board. The pieces were all where they should've been; the starting position. All of their pieces were right where hey should've been at the beginning of any chess game.

Squall stared at the board, and then, asked, "Felicific Calculus Chess?"

"Something that beats inside your chest..."

"What does a game have to do with my heart?"

"Games are only played on your scar..." Purity replied.

Gently, her right hand reached to the Red Queen. Pushing it forwards ten squares, she let it rest just across Squall's borders, remaining on his left side.

Squall thought about this move as Purity spoke:"Red Queen, Ten Demerits forward."

"Then," he replied, "Gray Castle, four squares forward." He said, pushing the gray castle forwards four squares, meeting Purity's right side.

Purity smiled gently, her right hand fondling her hair.

"Why are you smiling- I am about to conquer!" Squall replied as his left hand reached out to the Gray Knight, and he played it forwards. However, the nature of the move required it's final square to be the one his castle was standing on. Noticing this, he stopped, tried to think of another way.

Sensing his disturbance, Purity shivered. Then, she said, with a shaking voice, "Taking your own castle down- you are conquered!"

The piece flew away from Squall's grasp and landed on the castle, slowly starting to tear it down.

"How can pieces fall away from my control?"

"That is what they do when you lose your soul." Purity replied, starting to cry a bit.

Squall stared at her questioningly, "Why are you crying now?"

"I cry whenever someone is burned down." Purity replied, reaching out to a piece while still crying; Red Castle. She moved it across Squall's left side one square. Then, thoughtfully, she moved it two squares, crying out even louder. Finally, she pushed it four squares, and not satisfied, she pushed it another five squares to meet his knight. The castle ate out the knight almost at once.

"How come you are better than me?"

"Act faster-  
We can't play this game forever can we?" Purity demanded, her hands starting to shake violently.

Squall cursed under his breath as Purity desperately started to adjust her outfit. He looked at the pieces, and then, he put both of his hands on his Bishop. He lifted it up, but halway to the square he wanted to push it to, it fell apart, crumbling to tiny little pieces inside his hands.

Purity let out a soft moan in sorrow for his move, continuing to cry.

Squall wondered why his bishop had fallen apart. He then, set his eyes on yet another piece he hadn't used, Pawn. As both his hands went to a Pawn, he saw them disappear. The pawns were disappearing, one by one, as he reached to them.

Purity let out a soft scream as she started to sob violently, shaking the Felicific Calculus Chess board.

"Why are you crying?"

"I am crying,  
Solely cause you are lying  
In a pool of sin drying  
Soon you will be dying..."

Squall was thunderstruck with this piece of information. He stared at her blankly. Then, furiously, he grabbed hold of his King.

His king turned to a spiked block, it's thorns digging deep into Squall's skin. Shouting, Squall squeezed it harder through instinct, and made it deep even digger into his skin...

Then, he felt it shrink inside his palm. He stared at the disappearing thorn nest, and then, his gaze remained on the board. The pieces were still- though they were drenched in Purity's tears.

"JUST STOP CRYING!!!" Squall shouted in fury, and he grabbed hold of his remaining castle... He threw it to Purity, and watched it fly across the surface.

"SOON YOU'LL BE **DYING!!!**" Purity shouted, as the chess piece flew at her and then, hit her throat.

Squall was in absolute shock after seeing what happened.

The chess piece pierced through her skin, burying itself into her neck, and drawing out her blood, it got out from the other side. Squall watched her blood rush out and cover up all the chess pieces, first blackening them, and then, destroying them. He pushed the table away and fell down on the tiled floor, watching her face shift with hopelessness and sink into the blood on the table, her body starting to be absorbed by the Felicific Calculus Chessboard.

Squall watched Purity disappear in the blood. Watching her pale skin be stained with red, and as the blood touched her body, her skin started to rot.

Shouting in fear, he started to crawl away from the scenenery. The blood dripped off the table, and from the points it touched, the tiles started to melt away, turning to black and then, becoming the horrid, colourful nothingness as The Illumination Hotel. He shouted in fear, not wanting to be in the nothingness again.

Just then, the blood stopped flowing. Squall saw a figure dressed in cobalt stand in front of him. He had a torn trenchcoat on, and the rest of his clothes were made of baggy, torn pants, a torn shirt. His blonde hair was pulled in a rather ragged rasta style. He turned to look at Squall with his blinded eyes.

"I am Denial,  
I am your trial of deception  
I am your wraith.  
I'm the smile  
That you strike in perception  
As you lose faith.  
Meanwhile  
Should you accept or decline  
Your status?  
So vile-  
Circumsised out of your mind  
A lazarus..."

Denial smiled then. Squal shievered with the sight of his grey, unseeing eyes. He then, outstretched his hand to Squall.

"Stand up, my friend,  
Our time is about to end  
Let us run while we can  
I will help you make amends."

"Where will we go, do I need a weapon?" Squall asked.

Denial smiled. He said,

"We will pass through a hall that leads to the grave of Reason.".

_

* * *

__Author's Note: It's actually quite easy to realise which chess piece to which square are metaphors to what. Only if you are good with numbers, you can easily figure it out. Sorry it took a bit to update, hella busy with finals, I was. Now, if you would like to know more about the metaphorical nature of this chess game, and/or the entire story's settings, strange details given, etc. Basically, any question at all, please e-mail me at "_ _. A minor detail though; "Felicific Calculus" is a liberal theory that follows this equation: "Pleasure-PainHappiness"._


	8. Chapter 7: Through The Hall of Mirrors

_"**Mind Fields"**_

**Chapter Seven:"Through The Hall of Mirrors"**

Squall followed Denial, as he led him through the concrete-drenched streets of Deusapolis.

"Just tell me where you're taking me this time?" Squall demanded.

"I am taking you to The Hall of Mirrors;  
A place that is beyond your mind." Denial replied.

Following him, Squall watched his torn clothes swirl and embrace him as they went. He watched them stretch out, then shrink, leave too much for the imagination, or too little.

"Your clothes keep changing; shifting shape." Squall said,

"I am Denial and it's a way to escape  
The inevitable celestial rape." Denial replied, as he continued to advance.

Squall watched the streets of Deusapolis change; the concrete shifted it's colour from blackish gray to red as they went. Every tile Squall stepped on was cracking up; and then, as he turned and looked over his shoulder, starting to fade.

"The city is fading behind us!" Squall warned.

"Now you see what blinds us  
Is the message-  
That we pray doesn't find us;  
If it does-  
We will remain mindless." Denial replied to his concern. Squall sighed. He knew he had no choice to follow him.

As he felt the city dissolve behind him, he also felt a hostile breeze in the air; he could see the breeze in a way. He felt it's red fingers brush against his skin and rush into his hair. He felt the city destroyed behind him; and the wind was also brushing the remains away.

"There's something wrong about this!" Squall said.

"If you are not willing to take risks  
Then you can never find true bliss!" Denial cut him off.

"Why are you reflecting my concern?" Squall demanded

"I do no such thing- for I learn  
There's no escaping the fire as you turn  
You just have to burn!"

"Where are you taking me?"

"To a place that is breaking _me_!"

"Does this place have a name; to make it clearer?"

"I am slowly taking you to The Hall of Mirrors!"

Squall chased after Denial, whom had started to run. Squall felt the hostile breeze embrace them, as if it was about to kiss them. Squall felt the razor kiss on his lips, his lips had been cut; and they were bleeding. Squall tried to stop the blood from flowing out...

...For every droplet was drilling right through the concrete below as if it was a layer only broken by blood. He looked at Denial curiously as they continued to advance towards 'The Hall of Mirrors'.

"Why am I following you to this hall?" Squall demanded.

"Do you wish to understand this place or not?" Denial demanded in return.

"Do you know what I wish for, all in all?"

"I do; for I also know this is your only shot!"

Squall advanced one more time, until they stopped at two large doors that blocked exit to a certain place. Squall observed the doors. He noticed that, they were shaped like razorblades, blood dripping off the gaps. Squall watched the blood flow into the ground, and then, flow towards Denial; flow uphill.

"Why is the blood flowing back to your feet?"

"Because I am the result when you deny defeat  
Like you had in times of deceit,  
This is a game from which you can't seem to forefeit."

"How can I pass through these razor doors?"

"Enough with the questions, just look at the floor!"

Squall stared at the floor. The tiles had shifted their shapes and they were now becoming small vortexes, moving towards the doors. Squall watched in awe as the vortexes started to bleed the razor doors, and forced them open.

"The doors open for you; for you only,  
This is why with me you are so lonely!" Denial said, in a rather cryptic manner.

Squall followed Denial into The Hall of Mirrors. As they passed through the doors, Squall momentarily stopped. Looking at the doors, he saw something hanging off the edges of the razors, something that seemed rather familiar to him. His fingers gripped a few strands of raven hair; all dipped in blood. Shivering, he let go of the strands, and watched them fall to the vortex tiles underneath his feet.

"Are you coming, or will you just fondle the past?" Denial demanded from far away.

"I am coming; and I hope this passage will be the last!" Squall replied.

"It will be, if you want it to be."

"It doesn't matter what I want for me."

Denial dove right into the hall, and Squall followed him. However, he wasn't quite ready for the sight.

The Hall of Mirrors, in fact, was a hall constructed _only _by mirrors. The floor, the ceiling, the walls, the small benches put there for the passangers to rest... mirrors everywhere. Squall's mind was unable to comprehend the sight for a second. Everywhere he looked, he saw himself, but in different clothes, standing in an infinite space of possibilities.

Then, Squall heard a scream. Jumping up in fear, furiously, he looked around. He faced a reflection of his own. The reflection was his; same hair the scar, the ice-blue eyes, the same clothes...

...However, there was a glow in his eyes that Squall never had. A mad glare about those ice-blue eyes was slowly turning the looking glass in front of him two an obscure, black surface. After the looking glass went completely obscure, Squall heard a scream from the inside. And then, the black mirror in front of him broke, sending it's shards flying everywhere; changing every looking glass they touched to obscure, black surfaces. Squall heard the scream rise to a self-explainatory verse fading in.

Squall started to run across the hall, while every mirror behind him were breaking, and staining others. He had started to ehar the words of the verse.

"**I AM HATE  
****I'M SHARP, AND I AM OF BURNING ICE  
****I AM THE COSTS OF A UNIQUE SACRAFICE  
****I AM THE VISION OF BURNING LICE  
****I AM HATE  
****I AM YOUR BLACKENED VIOLENCE DEVICE!!!"**

Squall felt the ground become blackened as well, every cut inflicted on his body from the bouncing glass shards; Squall noticed that as sharp as they were, they were actually forming marble cushions in the air as he progressed.

Momentarily, Squall stopped as he heard the glass breaking behind him; and violent footsteps approaching.

What he saw was someone rushing at him. When he came out in the clear, Squall saw himself...

...But his hair was different.

As Hate swung his gunblade towards Squall, he jumped backwards to avoid any injury. The gunblade slashed through a mirror on the wall, and it's shards flew all around, smashing other mirrors, and inviting a light inside.

Hate's raven hair flew around his face, as Squall rose to his feet and rose his own gunblade. He watched Hate, witnessed the fury in his eyes that were visible through his long, raven hair.

"Why are you against me; am I your enemy?"

"**ARE YOU NOT TIRED OF QUESTIONING ME,  
****WHAT ELSE DOES THERE HAVE TO BE  
****FOR YOU TO EMBRACE YOUR INSANITY  
****AND ADMIT YOUR BLASPHEMY!?"**

"I never did cause this catastrophe!" Squall said, turning around and starting to run towards the exit of The Hall of Mirrors, a place where light of the mirrors turned to ultimate darkness.

"**NO, YOU ONLY WISHED FOR IT TO BE  
****ULTIMATE DYSFUNCTION-  
****SO YOU COULD ESCAPE ALL DEATH EASILY!"**

Squall witnessed all the mirros across the hall become black and shatter themselves. He could hear Hate's maniacal laughter echoing through his path. He shielded his eyes with his arms and blindly, continued to run, feeling the glass shards fly in every which direction; embracing his vicinity in a tornado.

Squall screamed, he couldn't hear the sounds anymore. Sound, words, they all had stopped making sense.

He tripped...

Squall felt his world spin, he felt the sense of losing directional refferences. He felt himself lose his own mind in that small, short moment full of a spinning sense that just wouldn't stop circling on.

"I have to survive through this!" Squall called out to his own self

"**THEN REJECT YOUR DEMENTED BLISS!!!"** Hate called out to him.

Squall felt himself hit the ground. He felt the soil underneath him. He saw that, it all was dark around him; it was night in Deusapolis. He looked around, and saw something subtle.

A gravestone.

Crawling back up to his feet, Squall stumbled across the stone. He read the inscription on it.

_"When Reason passed away and became carrion, I  
Could not demand of anyone else but AYREONA"_

"So you're here..." a thousand voices rose from all around him; the sentenced circled him. Looking around, Squall saw everyone he had met throughout this journey.

A gathering was being held.

* * *

_Author's Notes: I'm sorry it took so long to reply to, but I've been 1) Busy with finals, 2) Busy with writing an original fiction named "Seraphim System" which is on fictionpress. But, no worries, though a bit late, "Mind Fields" will finish, and if I finish "Seraphim System" on the way, a sequel to complete it (possibly named as "Symptoms of Mercy Redux") to a trilogy. Reviews are not just welcomed; they areappreciated._


	9. Chapter 8 : The Illumination Hotel Redux

_"**Mind Fields"**_

**Chapter Nine:The Illumination Hotel Redux**

Squall looked around himself. He could see the familiar faces; standing in a cricle around him. He slowly looked from one to the other, tracing each face from the start to the end. Fear. Pain. Purity(though bloodstained). Denial. Hate. Desire. Passion. Love. Sorrow. Rage.

Squall felt a tension rise around him. He couldn't catch directions or inhale the scent of the fresh soil around him, but he was aware of one single, simple truth; the darkness was real even if the other things were not.

Squall waited for them to make a move. The hair on the back of his neck was standing up as he felt them close in. They were closing the gaps between them, and formed a full circle; embracing Squall and the grave of Reason.

"I sense that you all have something to say..." Squall said, "Like you always did."

They replied in a choir of their voices, sung altogether;

"**We wish to say we have been here ever since you were a little kid!"**

"Starting with Ellone's disappereance,  
You imagined me and my appereance," Pain stated.

"And when you were left in the cold  
You felt me in the stories told," Sorrow exclaimed.

"And when Seifer made you oh-so-mad,  
You realised I was all that you had," Hate joined in.

"So when your emotions stroke a betrayal  
You compared me to your support; frail," Desire suggested.

"AND I WAS ONLY THERE IN THE MIRROR  
ONLY TO MAKE YOUR VISION SO CLEARER" Rage snarled.

"You had always seen me when being controlled  
And embraced me harshly when you lost your soul," Fear explained.

"And I was frail, yet much-needed and present  
Only as a shadow of all that needed to be absent" Passion said in disdain.

"You never got to know me, but it's okay,  
I know Pain had so much more to do or say." Love confessed, her head down.

"I was never there to begin with; never  
Then you told me we could be together!" Purity sighed.

"Embracing me, you forged your own hurt,  
Whether over or under this barren earth!" Denial stated.

Squall felt as if a voice was missing. But then, he started to grasp the meaning of their words.

"Are you real, or have I made you up?" he demanded.

Their unfied choir replied him; **"We are everything that was in your cup!"**

"But I don't know what I should think..."

"**You only have to let yourself sink!"**

"But how can I, all I want is to live!"

"**Living on without anything to give?"**

"Have mercy on me; I am just a child!"

Then, Sorrow's voice interrupted them.

"A little child cannot embrace denial..." she said.

Squall stood there, in the center of their circle.

"But why do you appear so real to me?"

"**Do you not believe that emotions can be real?"**

"Still, I never willed this all to be!"

"**Yet you can't deny what you so willingly feel!"**

"What's my name, tell me my name!**"**

"**You must find out your name on your own!"**

"Then just tell me who's to blame!"

"**YOU! YOU ARE TO BLAME AND YOU ALONE!"**

Squall shivered at this knowledge. The air around him started to spin; he could feel it spinning all around him. He looked around to the faces of his own emotions; those he couldn't accept or deny.

"What must I do, do I have a purpose?"

"**You must see the reason for 'hurt' is."**

"FROM WHERE CAN I EXIT THIS HELL?**" **Squall shouted in question.

The choir stood silent, and exchanged looks. Feeling the air around himself tense up; he felt his own ragged breath not heal his need for oxygen.

Then, Sorrow stepped forward and spoke to him.

"The answers you seek are in the cells  
They fell down your broken well  
They rest in The Illumination Hotel."

Squall froze. The memory of The Illumination Hotel brought sweat onto his forehead, and he looked around himself. They hadn't even taken a step back to let him get away.

"I refuse to step back into nothingness!"

"If you don't you will have something less!" Passion protested.

"This doesn't make sense at all; I can't have more deprivation!"

"You will deprave you everything if you refuse her circumsision!" Fear interviened.

"I am nothing!" Squal confessed, "Nothing without her guidance!"

"You are everything!" Sorrow said, "Everything but her violence!"

Squall stood underneath the rain, his mirrors looking at him. Sorrow was standing more stern than anything Squall had known.

Suddenly, a voice came and interrupted the scene.

"And I am the only thing you have left."

Turning around, Squall saw a man embraced in mirrors. His clothes were made of mirrors, and they seemed to be stained with mud all over. His blank eyes represented a seeing blindness; they glowed with an orange tint to them.

"What are you; you look familiar?" Squall demanded.

"I am You  
We appear as ever-so-very-similar  
To be true  
Yet you are stains in the mirror-"

Squall heard the others join the choir.

"**And these reflections  
****The visions, contradictions  
****All summing up to segmentation  
****All your plans, both your hands  
****Your one and only solid stand  
****Falls again, calls within,  
****Just so that you, can pretend  
****That this thing will just end..."** they stopped, observing Squall and his reflection.

"What thing, does it grow inside of me?" Squall demanded.

"It's all that you call is outside of you." You replied.

"Are you a reflection of my tranquility?"

"I am a reflection of your lying truth." You replied to him again.

Squall saw the others form two parallel lines around him; leading him onto a path.

"Is this the path that leads-" he started, and then Fear replied,

"To The Illumination Hotel."

"The end of your deeper needs." You explained,  
"The final of your deeds."

Squall Leonhart started to take the steps across the path that was shown to him. Rain was falling down onto this graveyard; and the feeling of emptyness was still fresh inside of him. He felt the reflections of him that showed him the way weep with his silent sorrow.

For he had lost his sense of identity a long time ago. Deep down inside, he was vaguely aware of a name's presence. But a name itself presented him nothing; because it didn't explain his past, his present, or his future. He could barely remember when he had entered this realm.

Without a word, silently, he followed the path presented to him.

_All my life, have I only followed paths? Lost inside, a countless bodycount math? _

No response came from anyone around him. Squall felt lonliness, and felt Fear put a hand onto his shoulder. He felt a chill pass throughout his body as his path crossed one he felt as if he had walked before. Turning to that at the will of his emotions, Squall stared to walk the path his emotions had shown to him.

Their silent support slowly faded as he felt he got closer to his goal. Slowly, and one by one, all of the emotions left. All Squall could feel was You, standing right nearby.

And You stopped after a building was visible. Squall stopped as well. He turned to You and asked;

"Why did you stop; don't you want to walk with me?"

"I do want to walk with you; but **you** wouldn't want to walk with me."

You wandered away. Squall observed the building before him. It looked like a regular hotel...

...Only, an inscription was burning on the roof; the flames were really dancing.

**THE ILLUMINATION HOTEL**

And as Squall advanced towards it, he didn't see the colourful void. He could see the hotel now. He got to the door. Pushing it open, he went inside.

* * *

_Author's Note: Read on. The note will be in the epliogue._


	10. Epilogue : Awakening

_"**Mind Fields"**_

**Epilogue:"Awakening"**

He was now beyond the doorstep.

At first, there was a sharp pain, embracing him.

Then, the pain left it's place to a deep, terrible, razor silence.

Then, inside the silence, words started to shape themselves. The words were inside of his head; dancing to a spiral tune. All he could hear was choirs of his own, choirs of self calling out to him.

"Emotions..." he whispered to the darkness, "Frictions."

His hand moved up to grip hold of a piece of rock nearby. He held it tight, and then, he pulled himself upwards. His tired eyes searched for the light that was supposed to be above him.

_Above me... I can finally see. I can finally differentiate directions._

"S.O.M... Symptoms Of Mercy..." he whispered to the dark, his tone transforming those three words to a promise made of two words as he continued to progress.

"I remember..."

* * *

_Author's Notes: Well, here is the epilogue of "Mind Fields". It may not be what you expected, but hey- I am not compelled to make it that. Then again, I cancelled an entire chapter where Squall would confront Rinoa (or i his mind, Ayreona). But I decided that "The Illumination Hotel" was good enough an exit point. For those of you whom have questions about the fundamental idea of "Mind Fields"; after Squall falls through an incident that will be explained through the final part, and the sequel to "Mind Fields" (and/or "Symptoms of Mercy" since they are connected) he finds himself locked in his own mind. As he works his way through, he discovers new things about himself. All of the places, events are hand-picked and worked by moi (I have a right to brag) to be entirely symbolic. Now, let's just hope I get down to the final part of what I would like to call "Symptoms Trilogy"; which is supposed to be made of "Symptoms Of Mercy" - "Mind Fields" and the third part._


End file.
